My phone buzzed with Nick’s call. I felt a bit sick seeing his name, knowing what Daniel had likely said about me. In a way, I was surprised he was calling me at all. I’d almost expected him to never talk to me again.
“When was the last time you heard from Daniel?” Nick’s voice, even through the bad connection, was ragged with fear.
“Um, this Friday? Didn’t Daniel tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Well, he found out about us. What we were doing. And he was really angry. He’d been waiting for me in your dorm room, and then he just blew up. He was so angry that it scared me. He–he pushed me out of the room and said he never wanted to see me again.”
I waited but Nick didn’t respond.
“He really didn’t tell you?” I said again.
“That’s impossible. There’s no way he was here in Providence. No one’s seen him since last Thursday.”
My stomach dipped into my knees. “He was definitely in your room. I’d gotten a message from you to meet me at your room on Friday night, so I hopped a bus after class and went to your room around five. He was there with his backpack, waiting for me. He knew I was coming so he must’ve either sent the message or found it somehow.”
“I’m looking at my messages, and I don’t see anything from you since last week.”
“He must’ve erased my message, and yours, since I definitely have it on my phone.” I paused to look through my messages from Friday, but couldn’t find the ones from Daniel. My brain began to freeze over. “Wait, it’s gone. Or maybe it was from some other app?” The memory of Daniel pushing me had pushed out everything that had happened before. I tried to recall where I’d seen the message, what I’d said in reply. But the memory was hazy, getting hazier.
“Wait a second. Did you say no one’s seen him since Thursday?”
“That’s what I’m saying. He went to his morning seminar at Buffalo, but no one noticed him at any of his afternoon classes. The last time anyone remembered talking to him was room-mate just before one.”
“But–Where would he go?”
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. We called the bus station at Buffalo, all the taxi companies. No one’s reported seeing him.”
“What about his phone or his credit card use? Can you track that?”
“We can’t track anything. When we realized how long he’d been missing we called the police but they said missing teens don’t justify pulling cell phone or credit records. We’re supposed to wait another forty-eight hours while they check hospitals and jails. They say he’s not a high risk case, that they think he'll be back soon.”
“Well. Maybe he will.” I said weakly. But my brain burned with the image of Daniel’s look of hatred, the way he slammed the door, like he wished he could slam it into my skull. I’d been afraid of him, and suddenly I was even more afraid.
“If he’d come to Providence, been at my dorm, I would’ve known. Someone would have seen him.”
“Well, maybe they’d think they’d seen you.” I said, “It seemed like almost no one at Brown knows you have a twin.”
Nick sighed, static-sounding and for a second I had a voice. “Where are you now?”
“I’m at my house, in Bedford. Our mom is freaking out.”
“What about your dad?”
Nick stayed quiet.
“Nick? What does your dad think?” It felt like a weird moment of truth. After years of the twins saying how awful he was, what he like after hearing his son was missing.”
“My father is–is on a business trip.” Nick finished lamely.
“What? If he knows Daniel has been missing since Thursday why didn’t he come straight home?”
“He thinks Daniel will come home on his own. He says Daniel’s acting out.”
— siobhan
“When was the last time you heard from Daniel?” Nick’s voice, even through the bad connection, was ragged with fear.
“Um, this Friday? Didn’t Daniel tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Well, he found out about us. What we were doing. And he was really angry. He’d been waiting for me in your dorm room, and then he just blew up. He was so angry that it scared me. He–he pushed me out of the room and said he never wanted to see me again.”
I waited but Nick didn’t respond.
“He really didn’t tell you?” I said again.
“That’s impossible. There’s no way he was here in Providence. No one’s seen him since last Thursday.”
My stomach dipped into my knees. “He was definitely in your room. I’d gotten a message from you to meet me at your room on Friday night, so I hopped a bus after class and went to your room around five. He was there with his backpack, waiting for me. He knew I was coming so he must’ve either sent the message or found it somehow.”
“I’m looking at my messages, and I don’t see anything from you since last week.”
“He must’ve erased my message, and yours, since I definitely have it on my phone.” I paused to look through my messages from Friday, but couldn’t find the ones from Daniel. My brain began to freeze over. “Wait, it’s gone. Or maybe it was from some other app?” The memory of Daniel pushing me had pushed out everything that had happened before. I tried to recall where I’d seen the message, what I’d said in reply. But the memory was hazy, getting hazier.
“Wait a second. Did you say no one’s seen him since Thursday?”
“That’s what I’m saying. He went to his morning seminar at Buffalo, but no one noticed him at any of his afternoon classes. The last time anyone remembered talking to him was room-mate just before one.”
“But–Where would he go?”
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. We called the bus station at Buffalo, all the taxi companies. No one’s reported seeing him.”
“What about his phone or his credit card use? Can you track that?”
“We can’t track anything. When we realized how long he’d been missing we called the police but they said missing teens don’t justify pulling cell phone or credit records. We’re supposed to wait another forty-eight hours while they check hospitals and jails. They say he’s not a high risk case, that they think he'll be back soon.”
“Well. Maybe he will.” I said weakly. But my brain burned with the image of Daniel’s look of hatred, the way he slammed the door, like he wished he could slam it into my skull. I’d been afraid of him, and suddenly I was even more afraid.
“If he’d come to Providence, been at my dorm, I would’ve known. Someone would have seen him.”
“Well, maybe they’d think they’d seen you.” I said, “It seemed like almost no one at Brown knows you have a twin.”
Nick sighed, static-sounding and for a second I had a voice. “Where are you now?”
“I’m at my house, in Bedford. Our mom is freaking out.”
“What about your dad?”
Nick stayed quiet.
“Nick? What does your dad think?” It felt like a weird moment of truth. After years of the twins saying how awful he was, what he like after hearing his son was missing.”
“My father is–is on a business trip.” Nick finished lamely.
“What? If he knows Daniel has been missing since Thursday why didn’t he come straight home?”
“He thinks Daniel will come home on his own. He says Daniel’s acting out.”
— siobhan
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