Psalm 39
1 I said, “I will guard my ways that I may not sin with my tongue; I will keep a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence.” 2 I was silent and still; I held my peace to no avail; my distress grew worse, 3 my heart became hot within me. While I mused, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue: 4 “LORD, let me know my end, and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.
I guard my ways way too much. Even when I muse, I keep the fire turned down low – a controlled burn. I have worn this muzzle so long that I’m not sure my mouth even opens all the way anymore. But how come?
It’s the chilling effect, I hear from the corner of my brain. I have seen others say something that varies slightly from the ‘right’ opinion, and all of a sudden, they are cancelled or banished or branded. It’s just self-preservation.
Yeah, but that’s just an excuse. I don’t really have anything I can be cancelled from. Plus, every time I’ve actually spoken out or spoken up, it’s gone well – turns out, my opinions aren’t actually that controversial. So why do I keep myself muzzled? Is it to avoid the possibility of making someone else uncomfortable? Or to avoid the possibility of making myself uncomfortable? Those are different. One is slightly more valid than the other, but not actually, as long as whatever I’m saying is in the service of growth and not just a complaint.
I’ve never seen myself as someone who is meek, but maybe I am (or maybe I’m pretending to be in an elaborate plot to inherit the earth.) Regardless, I’m getting better. I’m becoming more courageous. I’m realizing that I don’t care that much if people judge me. I’m finding more and more things that I am actually convicted about – because that plays a huge part of not speaking out. There are so many things that I just really don’t care enough about either way to take the time or energy to debate. But I’m feeling things more strongly, and that’s leading to statements… and for that, I am grateful.
— MeganPrestonMeyer
1 I said, “I will guard my ways that I may not sin with my tongue; I will keep a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence.” 2 I was silent and still; I held my peace to no avail; my distress grew worse, 3 my heart became hot within me. While I mused, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue: 4 “LORD, let me know my end, and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.
I guard my ways way too much. Even when I muse, I keep the fire turned down low – a controlled burn. I have worn this muzzle so long that I’m not sure my mouth even opens all the way anymore. But how come?
It’s the chilling effect, I hear from the corner of my brain. I have seen others say something that varies slightly from the ‘right’ opinion, and all of a sudden, they are cancelled or banished or branded. It’s just self-preservation.
Yeah, but that’s just an excuse. I don’t really have anything I can be cancelled from. Plus, every time I’ve actually spoken out or spoken up, it’s gone well – turns out, my opinions aren’t actually that controversial. So why do I keep myself muzzled? Is it to avoid the possibility of making someone else uncomfortable? Or to avoid the possibility of making myself uncomfortable? Those are different. One is slightly more valid than the other, but not actually, as long as whatever I’m saying is in the service of growth and not just a complaint.
I’ve never seen myself as someone who is meek, but maybe I am (or maybe I’m pretending to be in an elaborate plot to inherit the earth.) Regardless, I’m getting better. I’m becoming more courageous. I’m realizing that I don’t care that much if people judge me. I’m finding more and more things that I am actually convicted about – because that plays a huge part of not speaking out. There are so many things that I just really don’t care enough about either way to take the time or energy to debate. But I’m feeling things more strongly, and that’s leading to statements… and for that, I am grateful.
— MeganPrestonMeyer
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