I am not feeling at all confident in the flesh these days. I am grown old, and growing older every day. Aging is my "jagged little pill," and I confess it is a tough one to swallow...I'm too consumed with appearance, and the loss of physical strength, the opportunities in life that are now lost to me. I could say, of course, that eating healthfully, getting enough sleep, guarding against isolation in this time of pandemic, could make me feel stronger. That's just mimicking everyday "wisdom" which is only so helpful.
But what does it mean, truly, to take care of myself?
I participated in a webinar yesterday on Self-Renewal. The issue of self-care was the core of the presentation; it is something that I need to spend some considerable time thinking on. These days it feels like I just move, like someone in a trance, from one task to another...and many of those tasks (this writing workshop included) were intended to nourish my appetite for life, fire my creativity or feed my soul. I'm not sure it's working. Although, I have to admit right now, as my fingers are typing these words, that I do feel engaged. So, maybe, give this a bit more time to become a healthy habit.
I guess I need to check in with myself, multiple times a day, to determine whether, moment by moment, my steps are really taking me in the direction of self-fulfillment. Am I listening to my higher self? Am I ignoring signs?? What feels true? What makes me feel strong?
I know that finally making a tough decision makes me feel strong (I tend to dither and procrastinate). I know that helping another person in a very concrete way, or seeing a positive result from my efforts (or something I created), solving a difficult problem...these things make me feel strong. These accomplishments (small as they may or may not be) steer my steps in the right direction: forward. Toward further action and away from stagnation or victimization. Life gets too busy, too frenetic. It makes me feel weak, hopeless. But guess what? It doesn't get that way by itself.
I need to stop, breath, consider and choose.
— DMRS
But what does it mean, truly, to take care of myself?
I participated in a webinar yesterday on Self-Renewal. The issue of self-care was the core of the presentation; it is something that I need to spend some considerable time thinking on. These days it feels like I just move, like someone in a trance, from one task to another...and many of those tasks (this writing workshop included) were intended to nourish my appetite for life, fire my creativity or feed my soul. I'm not sure it's working. Although, I have to admit right now, as my fingers are typing these words, that I do feel engaged. So, maybe, give this a bit more time to become a healthy habit.
I guess I need to check in with myself, multiple times a day, to determine whether, moment by moment, my steps are really taking me in the direction of self-fulfillment. Am I listening to my higher self? Am I ignoring signs?? What feels true? What makes me feel strong?
I know that finally making a tough decision makes me feel strong (I tend to dither and procrastinate). I know that helping another person in a very concrete way, or seeing a positive result from my efforts (or something I created), solving a difficult problem...these things make me feel strong. These accomplishments (small as they may or may not be) steer my steps in the right direction: forward. Toward further action and away from stagnation or victimization. Life gets too busy, too frenetic. It makes me feel weak, hopeless. But guess what? It doesn't get that way by itself.
I need to stop, breath, consider and choose.
— DMRS
You sound very wise, very thoughtful--and strong in your ability to be vulnerable and open and aware! I am glad the writing is engaging you. I love how problem solving and helping someone make you feel strong.
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