This Christmas I received a FitBit as a gift from my son and daughter-in-law. It's been allowing me to study my sleep patterns. I get a sleep score every morning when I wake up and synch my FitBit with the app on my phone. I have to say, though, after several months of doing this, my sleep hasn't really improved. I also can't quite figure out why, on the days when I feel like I've actually had a pretty nice night's sleep, I end up getting a lower score!! What's going on here? They suggest trying for an earlier bedtime, and I've done that, but when I listen to my body and fall asleep earlier, I tend to wake up after several good hours, and that's it for the night.
For many years now, I have had to "trick" myself into falling asleep. Here's what I mean: I can never just find myself, at the end of the day, feeling tired, crawl into bed, turn out the light and find sleep there waiting for me. I have to be coaxed. I have to sit up in bed and read, or write, until my vision blurs and my head bows over whatever book or notebook I'm working on. Then, with great stealth, I reach for the light, turn it off and adjust the pillows with a minimum of movement, hoping that my drowsiness will unobtrusively morph into sleep.
Thought of any kind (but most especially prayer) -- is the enemy of sleep!
This has been the case for so long, that I've just come to accept it. It's the way I'm wired. It pretty much goes without saying that if I start managing my endless to-do list, or revisit failures and disappoint-ments from the day (or my past), or rehash an old argument with someone...that's not going to lead to sleep. It is a bit disheartening, though, to have to deliberately avoid all attempts to connect with my Higher Power, before signing off for the night. As a child, I always prayed before sleep, usually drifted off that way... a sweet comfort. There was a time when I felt my conscience was very clear, but I have less and less certainty about things as I age. So many questions, so much self-examination, so much doubt!! Perhaps I just never found the way to still my mind in prayer and simply listen. Perhaps my ego just isn't willing to relinquish control and let my Spirit roam free. That Great Beyond is beckoning!!
— DMRS
For many years now, I have had to "trick" myself into falling asleep. Here's what I mean: I can never just find myself, at the end of the day, feeling tired, crawl into bed, turn out the light and find sleep there waiting for me. I have to be coaxed. I have to sit up in bed and read, or write, until my vision blurs and my head bows over whatever book or notebook I'm working on. Then, with great stealth, I reach for the light, turn it off and adjust the pillows with a minimum of movement, hoping that my drowsiness will unobtrusively morph into sleep.
Thought of any kind (but most especially prayer) -- is the enemy of sleep!
This has been the case for so long, that I've just come to accept it. It's the way I'm wired. It pretty much goes without saying that if I start managing my endless to-do list, or revisit failures and disappoint-ments from the day (or my past), or rehash an old argument with someone...that's not going to lead to sleep. It is a bit disheartening, though, to have to deliberately avoid all attempts to connect with my Higher Power, before signing off for the night. As a child, I always prayed before sleep, usually drifted off that way... a sweet comfort. There was a time when I felt my conscience was very clear, but I have less and less certainty about things as I age. So many questions, so much self-examination, so much doubt!! Perhaps I just never found the way to still my mind in prayer and simply listen. Perhaps my ego just isn't willing to relinquish control and let my Spirit roam free. That Great Beyond is beckoning!!
— DMRS
Oh, what a touching account! I often fall asleep reading on the couch now, too, in the light, and sometimes just sleep that way (or sometimes my husband flips off the light when he goes up to bed.) I have a friend suffering from insomnia with similar patterns, and, as we talked, it seemed a combination of aging and the Covid time warp....
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